Jakelad

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Jakelad
Race	Porc
Cornerstone	Unknown
Class	Bard
Gender	Male
Affiliations	The Cult of Bones formerly: Crew Member of the Bocoe
Status	Deceased
Portrayed By	Rob
First Appearance	The Jewel of the Dingo Isles
Gallery

"FUCK THE KOBOLDS!"
— Jakelad

Jakelad is a Gravehoof Porc Bard who is part of Captain Merci's Crew during The Jewel of the Dingo Isles campaign. He is the lookout of the Bocoe and sings whenever there is danger.

Characteristics

He believes in the un-dead gods of the sea as a member of the Bone Cult, and hates kobolds and harpies. He loves singing, and shows great racism towards Kobolds in many of his songs. This pleases Captain Merci very much, as such he says that he can't have Jakelad doing anything but signing all the time.

Songs

Fuck the Kobolds

Timestamp: https://youtube.com/watch?v=eYXzQ3Sb_R0=16m35s

Lyrics:
There once was a captain who was a porc
And he was the greatest porc
The captain sailed the seven seas of porc
He's the captain porc

Fuck the kobolds, let the porcs
Live forever, let's drown the kobolds
Fuck the captain, fuck - I mean fuck the kobolds
Long live the captain

Jakelad the bard!

Note: Captain Merci liked this song so much he said that Jakelad would get extra wages for it.

Coast is Clear Song

Timestamp: https://youtube.com/watch?v=eYXzQ3Sb_R0=18m36s

Lyrics:
Fuck the kobolds, the coast is clear
I hope the kobolds die first
Fuck the kobolds, I don't see land

I hope... *

*Note: Captain Merci cuts Jakelad off here with: "Make sure those cannons are spick and span." Jakelad really likes those lyrics and want to add them to his song. Captain Merci says they are perfect and to add them. One can assume from this that this is how the song would continue or end, but there is no confirmation for this. Also note that likely the original song ended with 'the kobolds die first', as that seems to be the established pattern in the song."

Harpies are Coming

Timestamp: https://youtube.com/watch?v=eYXzQ3Sb_R0=24m5s

Lyrics:
I just saw a swarm of harpies
Coming to attack the ship
We should get below deck
Or else we'll probably die

Ballad of the Ghost Monsters

Timestamp: https://youtube.com/watch?v=e5do0WkWeKo=25m5s

Lyrics:
Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em in the eye
Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em till they die
Fuck the kobolds, I hate all of them
Let's turn them into fish yogurt

Note: Captain Merci likes this song so much he says that Jakelad's share is going up.

Crew Motivation Song

Timestamp: https://youtube.com/watch?v=e5do0WkWeKo=36m1s

Lyrics:
Fuck the kobolds, fuck them dry
Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em in the eye
Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em till they die
I hope that we live so I can keep singing

Note: this song was the result of Captain Merci's order to go below deck and sing a song to motivate the crew, ie Kinney Boots and O' Jo Krisstal. Obviously the kobolds did not appreciate the song.

Belongings

Treasures

• Winter Coat of Protection

Items

• Cutlass
• Flintlock

RP Items

• Dvergr Rope
• Spellblade Pasta Bread

Fate

Jakelad's skull was crushed by Kinney Boots' mace Lieutenant Surge, killing him, after he revealed his affiliation with The Cult of Bones and betrayed the crew, attempting to kill them. Kinney Boots brutally murdered Jakelad ultimately because of his racist songs, Jakelad's betrayal of the crew merely attacked as a catalyst to his death.

Trivia

• During the stream DeadBones had joked that Jakelad had a twitter account for his charm ability. A fan later created the account @Jake_Thelad.
• He was a Cultist of Bones in disguise, and went anti-party when the Behemoth attacked.