Porc Hunters/Quotes

This is a selection of Quotes from Porc Hunters.

Player Quotes

Rob

• "Goddamned gem."

- After the players repeatedly use the Wellforn Ruby to move great distances.

Ca-Rell

• "Theta Squad, strike!"

- When ordering her squad to move out or commence an attack.

• "And Roamin, you get the burned and decayed corpse of your brother! Hurray!"

- After rewarding DeNada and Elmar with treasures.

• "Yeah, we were the laughing stock, nobody liked us. You know, 'cause you always set fire to things, you're a complete asshole, and you're kinda grumpy sometimes, Coe."

- Explaining to Elmar why he, Templeton and DeNada weren't liked.

DeNada

• "These things are heavy, don't make me move them around like this."

- Coe complaining about having to move his tile in Tabletop.

• "I'm gonna summon a Shitlord."

- When summoning an Earthlord.

• "Way to accidentally do a good job there, Bannister."

- After Templeton wastes time putting out small fires with Wind Blast, only for it to actually be helpful, as the fires were creating more elementals.

• "So, my tent's been destroyed, I got hit by a meteor, I still don't have beer and pizza, I'm pretty pissed at this point, so I'm gonna summon a 2 by 2 Grand Fisting Event on this motherfucker right here."

- Deciding to use his Grand Raven's Claw, after ranting about the bad things that have happened so far.

• "I'm complimenting your disguise, don't be a fucking asshole."

- After telling Dave that his porc disguise is so good that it smells.

• "He drives an ice cream truck."

- Explaining to Dave how Elmar got the name 'Chilly Wizzy.'

• "Bannister, could you move so I can see Justin better?"

- When Roamin's puppet is between Coe and Justin's puppets.

• "We've got a whole alphabet of side plans."

- Referencing the numerous plans that they have thought of whilst getting ready to meet Porbo.

• "I just came up with plan F: Fuck this, let's get outta here."

- When faced with an army of porcs and two skelephelks, led by Porbo.

• "Hold on, let me try this, this is totally gonna work, alright, hold on. Haaaaaaaaaah."

- Trying to call for his own skelephelks in the same way that Porbo did.

Elmar

• "Yeah, who is in charge here? Honest question."

- After Ca-Rell asks Templeton who the leader is, rhetorically.

• "One man's fault is another man's..." [leaves]

- When blamed by Rob for creating the flame spirit.

• "I keep accidentally murdering Daves!"

- After accidentally hitting some of the reinforcements with his Fireball.

• "You know what? That'll be Plan E."

- When DeNada suggests for Elmar to challenge Porbo to a game of Chilly Willy.

Templeton Barringster VII

• "I'm not getting anything for saving my brother?!"

- When told by Ca-Rell that he is the only squad member that will not get a pay raise.

• "Oh, doubles, he goes to jail!"

- After Chimera rolls the same number on both of his dice.

• "I care about Alexander, and you're just like, deleting him off the board as if it doesn't mean anything to me."

- When Rob accidentally deletes one of Templeton's air sprites.

• "No, it's okay, yeah. Anthony and Amy are both, yeah, they're twins."

- When two of his air sprites are killed at the same time.

• "No, sorry Xavier. Xavier understood what he was getting into when he was summoned, okay? All of them did."

- When asked by Rob if he will take the hit for one of his air sprites.

• "Wait, so now we're just porc slaughterers?"

- Templeton not wanting to kill the porcs.

NPC Quotes

Phineas Barringster

• "Please! Please let me come on your adventure, I won't get in the way. Chat would love it if I came on the adventure, why won't you bring me big brother?"

- Phineas breaking the fourth wall whilst asking his brother if he could join them on their mission.

Dave

• "Look, the only thing I found is gonna interest your Earthlord guy over there."

- Referencing DeNada's fondness for summoning 'Shitlords,' after searching Chimera's butt for treasure.

Porbo

• "Hey, guys! Come over here and look at this elf! Everybody come laugh at this elf! He gonna fight Porbo! HAHAHAHA!"

- When Ca-Rell asks if he wants to fight.

Dialogue

Rob: "I got a nine, you got a four, do I win?"

Justin: "I think we all lose."

- When Dave and Elmar play Chilly Willy.

Templeton: "We've got a plan and a backup plan."

Ca-Rell: "A plan and a backup plan, this is the most prepared we've ever been."

Elmar: "We've got Plan A through D right now, it's insane!"

Ca-Rell: "We've never been this prepared before in our lives."

Templeton: "Hey, Justin, can you show me Plan D?"

- Discussing their numerous plans whilst on their way to Porbo.

Elmar: "Hey, Roamin, did you hear about Plan D?"

Ca-Rell: "What's Plan D?"

Elmar: "Deez nuts! Hahaha!"

Ca-Rell: "Wow, that's great."

DeNada: "Get fucked, Bannister!"

Templeton: "I don't like that plan."

- Elmar explaining Plan D to Templeton.

Ca-Rell: "But listen, we brought shiny things for Porbo. We didn't– we're not tribute."

Porc: "What's shiny thing? Is shiny thing tasty?"

Ca-Rell: "Umm... Shiny thing is very, very pretty,"

DeNada: "Yeah, look here" [Presents Private Ice Lord]

Ca-Rell: "Look at shiny thing. Shiny man, oooh, shiny man!"

Porc: "Oooh!"

Ca-Rell: "Oooh!"

DeNada: "Very shiny!"

Porc: "Oooh!"

Ca-Rell: "Oooh!"

Elmar: "Oooh!"

DeNada: "Oooh!"

Templeton: "Oooh!"

- Theta Squad tries to offer Private Ice Lord as a tribute to Porbo.

Deadbones: "Actually, Roamin, you could get Coe off."

Roamin: "You really saw that tension between us?"

- When Deadbones suggests for Templeton to use his Grand Raven's Claw to get DeNada off the skelephelk.