Quotes

(an WIP page made by this [1])

Player Quotes

Rob

• "Guys, I've tried so hard to affect these guys with rabies, it just ain't happening."

- Rob, talking to the Twitch chat.

• "Damn it, I was gonna double-infect him."

- After rolling a 2 when trying to infect Bumbley with rabies a second time.

• "I know there is a 5 percent chance that this actually happens... Fuck me!"

- Deadbones rolls a 20 and gets to charm the Gemlord.

Yumi

• "Running into a place to wait and die just seems like it kinda sucks."

- On the idea of hiding in a small alcove when chased by Elfs.

Squinks

• "This is not what I had in mind."

- When he accidentally turns into a Clockodile instead of an Elf.

• "Ya guess what I snuck around you cause I'm a theif!"

- When his thievery is question.

Gracias

• "If we throw water on an Elf it becomes a Kobold?"

- When the party is strangely curious about what happens when they throw water on things.

• "Blunder Bros!"

- Gracias personal battle cry with Philhipé when aiming their Blunderbusses/Snakehunter during combat.

Bumbley

• "Can I have my sword? You gave me rabies."

- To Squinks after Squinks makes a Kobold bite him.

• "Man, you know what? Not as bad as you'd think in a butthole."

- After hiding under the Monkeyfish King's buttocks.

• "K4!"

- After confirming that kobold number 4 is his name and title.

NPC Quotes

Nisovin

• "It's a dwarf, but the beard goes on his butt."

- Explaining what a beaver is.

Dialogue

Yumi: "Okay, here's what we're gonna do: He's Dwarf Number Three."

Nisovin: "Why are you calling him Dwarf Number Three?"

Gracias: "Don't ask about the first two."

- When Bumbley is so excited to be the "first" dwarf on the team that he lets the others name him.

Kobold leader: "I hate dwarves, but you guys seem to be nice. Hmm... Okay, I guess if he's not really a dwarf - cause, I mean, why would a dwarf be hanging out with gnomes? What's your name, non-dwarf?"

Bumbley: "Dwarf Number Three."

Rob: "Combat has started."

- When trying to negotiate safe passage through the Kobolds' cave.

Gracias: "So how the heck do you guys burn down buckets of water?"

Squinks: "Well... The buckets are made out of wood, and wood burns."

Gracias: "But the water is made out of water."

Squinks: "Yeah, but the wood is made out of wood."

Yumi: "Are you like a scientist or something?"

- After the party lose their buckets fighting burning Kobolds.

Bumbly: "And you know what, he died a... noble death?"

Yumi: "Dude got cut in half. I don't know what's really noble about that."

- After the death of the Monkeyfish King's son.

Player Quotes

Rob

• "Goddamned gem."

- After the players repeatedly use the Wellforn Ruby to move great distances.

Ca-Rell

• "Theta Squad, strike!"

- When ordering her squad to move out or commence an attack.

DeNada

• "I'm gonna summon a Shit Lord."

- When ordering her squad to move out or commence an attack.

Elmar

• "One man's fault is another man's ..." [leaves]

- When blamed by Rob for creating the flame spirit.

Templeton Barringster

• "I'm not getting anything for saving my brother?!"

- When told by Captain Ca-Rell that he is the only squad member that will not get a pay raise.

NPC Quotes

Dialogue

Player Quotes

Rob

• "For some reason your saber has a +2 bonus against doors."

- Rob trying to repair the mistake of forgetting to bring items over to the next map.

• "Any situations you hit a 1 near puppies, is gonna hurt puppies."

- Warning the team not to roll 1's.

• "This is my favorite encounter yet!"

- While trying his best to kill the puppies and laughing himself to death.

• "These puppies aren't the right scale. Let me shrink them down a bit."

- Rob trying to make the puppies fall through the grates.

Merci

• "Did you let Octivias squirt some of his yogurt in your mouth?"

- Asking why the crew took so long to assemble.

• "Weigh anchor, boys!"

- When using the skill of the same name.

McCoy

• "Oh yeah, the boat!"

- When forgetting the boat does not steer itself.

Kinney Boots

• "Tears don't make good seasoning, smiles do."

- Deadbones explaining why chefs are happy, not sad.

• "Buckle buddies!"

- Kinney to whomever she is buckled to.

• "Buckle puppies!"

- When buckling a puppy to herself.

• "Guess what Jake's getting shoved up his ass? It's a fucking electric mace!"

-While trying to kill Jakelad.

Jo Krysstal

• "Dude, I did a damn 'Flipsy Floo'!"

-After it's suggested they try leaving the temple again.

NPC Quotes

Dialogue

Jakelad: "Hey Captain, knock-knock."

Merci: "Who's there?"

Rob: "Combat has started."

- Rob starting the harpy combat.

Deadbones: "We don't know how many arms it has!"

Roamin: "Well I know it has two less!"

- Deadbones and Roamin arguing about how to fight the Behemoth.

Deadbones: "Why can I not just pick up the basket?"

Rob: "You can try that, yeah."

[Silence]

Deadbones: "I'm just gonna grab two puppies!"

- When the team is trying to save three puppies from fire.

Jo: "Alright. Guys, I don't think we can leave."

Kinney: "Well...welcome to our new home everybody!"

Jo: "I think that was the best chance I had of getting out of here."

Kinney: "Let's make it feel like home, yeah?"

Jo: "Let's go deeper, maybe we'll find some shit. Come on!"

McCoy: [To Jo] "Squid hi-5!"

Jo: [To McCoy] "Uh, no."

Kinney: "Capitan?"

Merci: "That looked like our best possible shot."

Kinney: "Capitan?"

Merci: "Let's just go in there."

Octivias: [Talking over others] "Captain I have an idea."

Merci: "Hold on, one at a damn time!"

Octivias: "I have an idea!"

Merci: "First, go 'Skinny'."

Kinney: [Surprised] "What? No. Let the Porc talk. I don't fuckin...whatever..."

Merci: "Alright. What do you want Octivias?"

Octivias: "What if we try it again, but with the other statue to try to get past it this time."

Jo: [Angrily] "Dude, I did a damn 'Flippsy Floo' and I didn't get through that!"

Octivias: "Yeah, but you're not a Porc, you're a Kobold. Maybe you're just too slow...and fat..."

Jo: [Hurt] "Woooooww."

[Short pause]

Merci: "He might be right about that."

[Rob laughs]

Merci: [Quickly] "Let's try um..." [Merci leaves]

Jo: [Shocked and hurt] "Wooooooowwww."

McCoy: [To Jo] "Yeah, you really went to town on that fish yogurt."

Jo: [Angrily] "That's it! I'm done!" [Jo leaves]

McCoy: "I mean come on, stop when you're full dude." [McCoy follows Jo]

[Short Pause]

[Octivias leaves]

Kinney: "I hate every single one of you people." [Kinney leaves]

- The team trying to figure out what to do next after Jo fails to get past a Temple Guardian.

Player Quotes

Rob

Warren

Terrence

• "Madelyne! Guess what?! We both have holes I wanna fill now!"

- After losing one of his eyes.

Pryor

• "Like I said; we don't want any!"

- To Willis after they have taken Pattenborrow's home.

Madelyne

Desnuttes

• "What?"

- Desnutes is absent minded because he's tripping on swammies.

Dankie

• "We're only supposed to run upstairs if there's a fire."

- Dankie describing their escape plan.

• "I don't stink so."

- Dankie not wanting to work with a Kobold that he thinks is a dwarf.

• "Sneak attack on this dwarf from behind!"

- Dankie trying to attack a Kobold.

• "Eeh-haw."

- Coe expressing his feelings on having the first character death in the series.

NPC Quotes

• "I don't think so."

- Pattenborrow Threecircle

• "I don't think so."

- Willis.

• "There will come a day when you need me inside of you."

- Pattenborrow Threecircle

Dialogue

Warren: "Hey Madelyne, it's Warren."

Terrence: "And Terrence!"

Madelyne: "What do you want, Warren?"

Terrence: "And Terrence!!"

Madelyne: [Annoyed] "What do you want, Warren?"

- When Warren is going to convince Madelyne to come downstairs.

Player Quotes

Rob

• "You are going to regret that."

- Rob as NPC's at the end of every conversation he has with the players.

• "Hey! Get out of here! This is a private delusional state that Deadbones is in."

- When Justin enters the conversation between Kallark and Carlos with his puppet.

• "Oh, that was very impactful."

- After rolling a 19, and proceeding not to tell what the roll was for.

Kallark

• "Well, you're going to regret not getting in the cage."

- After being told by Mormo that Kallark will regret his action.

• "Yeah, you're pretty much the Voice in the Sky in fox form."

- To Carlos when he breaks the meta.

Xavius

• "I just saw your lips moving; clearly you were talking."

- When Rob is using Ian to say something out of character.

Bob

• "Get away from my pockets!"

- When Goggles is trying to "borrow" a treasure from Bob.

Dave

NPC Quotes

Dialogue

Bob: "Hey!"

Rebooc: "Koboold!"

Bob: "I don't play that game, kobold."

Rebooc: Kobooold!"

Bob: "Ko... I don't play that game!"

Rebooc: "Kobooold!"

Bob: "I refuse to play this game."

Rebooc: "Kobooold! Kobooold! Koboold!"

[Silence]

Justin: "What... what am I doing here?"

Player Quotes

Rob

• "But Coe wanted to bang Deadbones!"

- Explaining the encounter of receiving the Tambock Ticket from the character Nate's girlfriend.

Thea Mazing

• "You know, Roamin's real name is Dave."

- Explaining why Roamin's stories always are fan fiction about Deadbones.

• "Yes."

-Speaking in Abrakadab.

Nate Tack

• "I'm totally ready to go straight in a straight line."

- The team is discussing how to sneak past the guards.

• "We should check for hidden vases."

- When the team starts to doubt that the vase in front of them is the one they are looking for.

• [Looks at Neena] "It's not that hard. I got it."

- Mocking Neena for breaking the vase they were after.

• "Oh! I have this vase in my hands suddenly. Uuh...."

- The team forgets who is holding the vase.

Darius

• "Can I disguise myself as an invisible person?"

- Roamin trying to sneak past some guards.

• "Oh! You wanna start making assumptions with Rob, you do that. That's your funeral."

- When the rest of the team thinks it is evident that they are sneaking since it is a sneak campaign.

• "I'm the Mayor."

- When he was Disguise as the museum curator but one of the guard thinks he's the mayor.

• "There's no way I can fuck this up!"

- Right before Roamin rolls a 1.

Neena Brando

• "Did I have sex with a ghost?!"

- After one of Darius' absurd and confusing stories.

NPC Quotes

Mona

• "Hold on let me get my Pipe."

- Every time she make a conversation.

Romulus

• "Omally you swine, I'm going to destory you!."

- When Neena switch places with Romulus using the Vampire locket and Facing off Omally.

Dialogue

Player Quotes

Rob

• "Also, Roamin, he has no name."

— Rob, when telling Roamin about No Name

Kopie Ren

• [Coe's dog barks] "I'm gonna get that wolf right now!"

- The team talking about the mission to kill the wolf.

• "Banditing starts at conception."

- Explaining how babies can be bandits as soon as they are born.

• "As my grammy used to say: 'Always put your eggs in the same basket'."

- Quoting her grandmother.

• "Noted. I'm going to transform."

- After getting warned he might risk hitting his team if he transforms.

• "Knock Knock. Wrastlin has now commenced"

- Charging blindly into battle.

Noxel

• "It's a good brand."

- Giving a straw to Kopie.

• "Didn't get that last part."

- Hearing Romulus trying to call for help through his death gurgling.

• "Now the first thing about being a berserker some people are born into it, some people can learn it."

- When teaching No Name about berserker.

• "This isn't about 'we'. This is about me!"

- Making a decision that only helps him.

Jack Krystaal

• Are you gonna serk off?

- When Nox and Kopie are naked in front of each other.

• I'm the greatest fucking liar!?

- When rolling a twenty for how good of a liar he is.

Romulus

• "Can I tun into a fart?"

- Trying to escape from the frog's belly.

• "I feel the anus is easier to go for than the nose"

- DeadBones planing the escape from the cowfrog.

• "As my Granddaddy used to say..."

- When DeadBones give word of advice.

NPC Quotes

Burrito

• '"I'm a shiny porc shiny shiny porc."

- After Jack Crystal oil him up

No Name

• '"(Heavy Breathing)"

- No Name try to breath

• '"Carrizem is also an emotion. It's the emotion of great frustration and confusion."

- Karazzeem explaining one of the meanings of the word.

• '"I never said that."

- Romulus's Grandfather repeatedly denying he said a proverb

Dialogue

Karazzeem: "You will slay the man who has slayed your grandaddy?"

Romulus: "I will take his life!"

Karazzeem: "You will restore honour to Karazeem. I Karazzeem say this."

Romulus: "You Karazzeem.... my cara... No, wait! Who's Karizem again?"

Karazzeem: "I am Karazzeem, from Karazeem."

Romulus: "Okey. So I am restoring faith to Karazeem, the place, not to you, Karazzeem?"

Karazzeem: "Yes, not to me. No, I am indifferent. I'm just your friend."

- Romulus talking about avenging his grandfather.

Karazzeem: "The thing is going to happen at noon."

Romulus: "Why are we being so coy about this? There is nobody listening."

Karazzeem: "I am not being coy! Why you think I being coy?!"

Romulus: "I think you're being coy 'cause you keep saying 'The Thing' instead of saying the thing."

Karazzeem: "Why, we should... we should not, no! Karazzeem don't talk about 'The Thing'."

Romulus: "Not out in the open. I get it."

Karazzeem: "Well, I mean... You know what they call 'The Thing', right?"

Romulus: "They call 'The Thing' 'The Forbidden Thing'."

Karazzeem: "No, they call it 'Crzm'."

Romulus: "They call it 'Crzm'."

Karazzeem: "Crzm! That's why I will not talk about it! I will not say that word! I, Karazzeem, will not say this word!"

- Romulus trying to find out what "The Thing" is.