Quotes

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(an WIP page made by this [1])

Campaigns

Player Quotes

Rob

• "Guys, I've tried so hard to affect these guys with rabies, it just ain't happening."

- Rob, talking to the Twitch chat.

• "Damn it, I was gonna double-infect him."

- After rolling a 2 when trying to infect Bumbley with rabies a second time.

• "I know there is a 5 percent chance that this actually happens... Fuck me!"

- Deadbones rolls a 20 and gets to charm the Gemlord.

Yumi

• "Running into a place to wait and die just seems like it kinda sucks."

- On the idea of hiding in a small alcove when chased by Elfs.

Squinks

• "This is not what I had in mind."

- When he accidentally turns into a Clockodile instead of an Elf.

• "Ya guess what I snuck around you cause I'm a theif!"

- When his thievery is question.

Gracias

• "If we throw water on an Elf it becomes a Kobold?"

- When the party is strangely curious about what happens when they throw water on things.

• "Blunder Bros!"

- Gracias personal battle cry with Philhipé when aiming their Blunderbusses/Snakehunter during combat.

Bumbley

• "Can I have my sword? You gave me rabies."

- To Squinks after Squinks makes a Kobold bite him.

• "Man, you know what? Not as bad as you'd think in a butthole."

- After hiding under the Monkeyfish King's buttocks.

• "K4!"

- After confirming that kobold number 4 is his name and title.

NPC Quotes

Nisovin

• "It's a dwarf, but the beard goes on his butt."

- Explaining what a beaver is.

Dialogue

Yumi: "Okay, here's what we're gonna do: He's Dwarf Number Three."

Nisovin: "Why are you calling him Dwarf Number Three?"

Gracias: "Don't ask about the first two."

- When Bumbley is so excited to be the "first" dwarf on the team that he lets the others name him.

Kobold leader: "I hate dwarves, but you guys seem to be nice. Hmm... Okay, I guess if he's not really a dwarf - cause, I mean, why would a dwarf be hanging out with gnomes? What's your name, non-dwarf?"

Bumbley: "Dwarf Number Three."

Rob: "Combat has started."

- When trying to negotiate safe passage through the Kobolds' cave.

Gracias: "So how the heck do you guys burn down buckets of water?"

Squinks: "Well... The buckets are made out of wood, and wood burns."

Gracias: "But the water is made out of water."

Squinks: "Yeah, but the wood is made out of wood."

Yumi: "Are you like a scientist or something?"

- After the party lose their buckets fighting burning Kobolds.

Bumbly: "And you know what, he died a... noble death?"

Yumi: "Dude got cut in half. I don't know what's really noble about that."

- After the death of the Monkeyfish King's son.

Player Quotes

Rob

• "Goddamned gem."

- After the players repeatedly use the Wellforn Ruby to move great distances.

Ca-Rell

• "Theta Squad, strike!"

- When ordering her squad to move out or commence an attack.

DeNada

• "I'm gonna summon a Shit Lord."

- When ordering her squad to move out or commence an attack.

Elmar

• "One man's fault is another man's ..." [leaves]

- When blamed by Rob for creating the flame spirit.

Templeton Barringster

• "I'm not getting anything for saving my brother?!"

- When told by Captain Ca-Rell that he is the only squad member that will not get a pay raise.

NPC Quotes

Dialogue

Player Quotes

Rob

• "For some reason your saber has a +2 bonus against doors."

- Rob trying to repair the mistake of forgetting to bring items over to the next map.

• "Any situations you hit a 1 near puppies, is gonna hurt puppies."

- Warning the team not to roll 1's.

• "This is my favorite encounter yet!"

- While trying his best to kill the puppies and laughing himself to death.

• "These puppies aren't the right scale. Let me shrink them down a bit."

- Rob trying to make the puppies fall through the grates.

Merci

• "Did you let Octivias squirt some of his yogurt in your mouth?"

- Asking why the crew took so long to assemble.

• "Weigh anchor, boys!"

- When using the skill of the same name.

McCoy

• "Oh yeah, the boat!"

- When forgetting the boat does not steer itself.

Kinney Boots

• "Tears don't make good seasoning, smiles do."

- Deadbones explaining why chefs are happy, not sad.

• "Buckle buddies!"

- Kinney to whomever she is buckled to.

• "Buckle puppies!"

- When buckling a puppy to herself.

• "Guess what Jake's getting shoved up his ass? It's a fucking electric mace!"

-While trying to kill Jakelad.

Jo Krysstal

• "Dude, I did a damn 'Flipsy Floo'!"

-After it's suggested they try leaving the temple again.

NPC Quotes

Dialogue

Jakelad: "Hey Captain, knock-knock."

Merci: "Who's there?"

Rob: "Combat has started."

- Rob starting the harpy combat.

Deadbones: "We don't know how many arms it has!"

Roamin: "Well I know it has two less!"

- Deadbones and Roamin arguing about how to fight the Behemoth.

Deadbones: "Why can I not just pick up the basket?"

Rob: "You can try that, yeah."

[Silence]

Deadbones: "I'm just gonna grab two puppies!"

- When the team is trying to save three puppies from fire.

Jo: "Alright. Guys, I don't think we can leave."

Kinney: "Well...welcome to our new home everybody!"

Jo: "I think that was the best chance I had of getting out of here."

Kinney: "Let's make it feel like home, yeah?"

Jo: "Let's go deeper, maybe we'll find some shit. Come on!"

McCoy: [To Jo] "Squid hi-5!"

Jo: [To McCoy] "Uh, no."

Kinney: "Capitan?"

Merci: "That looked like our best possible shot."

Kinney: "Capitan?"

Merci: "Let's just go in there."

Octivias: [Talking over others] "Captain I have an idea."

Merci: "Hold on, one at a damn time!"

Octivias: "I have an idea!"

Merci: "First, go 'Skinny'."

Kinney: [Surprised] "What? No. Let the Porc talk. I don't fuckin...whatever..."

Merci: "Alright. What do you want Octivias?"

Octivias: "What if we try it again, but with the other statue to try to get past it this time."

Jo: [Angrily] "Dude, I did a damn 'Flippsy Floo' and I didn't get through that!"

Octivias: "Yeah, but you're not a Porc, you're a Kobold. Maybe you're just too slow...and fat..."

Jo: [Hurt] "Woooooww."

[Short pause]

Merci: "He might be right about that."

[Rob laughs]

Merci: [Quickly] "Let's try um..." [Merci leaves]

Jo: [Shocked and hurt] "Wooooooowwww."

McCoy: [To Jo] "Yeah, you really went to town on that fish yogurt."

Jo: [Angrily] "That's it! I'm done!" [Jo leaves]

McCoy: "I mean come on, stop when you're full dude." [McCoy follows Jo]

[Short Pause]

[Octivias leaves]

Kinney: "I hate every single one of you people." [Kinney leaves]

- The team trying to figure out what to do next after Jo fails to get past a Temple Guardian.

Player Quotes

Rob

Warren

Terrence

• "Madelyne! Guess what?! We both have holes I wanna fill now!"

- After losing one of his eyes.

Pryor

• "Like I said; we don't want any!"

- To Willis after they have taken Pattenborrow's home.

Madelyne

Desnuttes

• "What?"

- Desnutes is absent minded because he's tripping on swammies.

Dankie

• "We're only supposed to run upstairs if there's a fire."

- Dankie describing their escape plan.

• "I don't stink so."

- Dankie not wanting to work with a Kobold that he thinks is a dwarf.

• "Sneak attack on this dwarf from behind!"

- Dankie trying to attack a Kobold.

• "Eeh-haw."

- Coe expressing his feelings on having the first character death in the series.

NPC Quotes

• "I don't think so."

- Pattenborrow Threecircle

• "I don't think so."

- Willis.

• "There will come a day when you need me inside of you."

- Pattenborrow Threecircle

Dialogue

Warren: "Hey Madelyne, it's Warren."

Terrence: "And Terrence!"

Madelyne: "What do you want, Warren?"

Terrence: "And Terrence!!"

Madelyne: [Annoyed] "What do you want, Warren?"

- When Warren is going to convince Madelyne to come downstairs.

Player Quotes

Rob

• "You are going to regret that."

- Rob as NPC's at the end of every conversation he has with the players.

• "Hey! Get out of here! This is a private delusional state that Deadbones is in."

- When Justin enters the conversation between Kallark and Carlos with his puppet.

• "Oh, that was very impactful."

- After rolling a 19, and proceeding not to tell what the roll was for.

Kallark

• "Well, you're going to regret not getting in the cage."

- After being told by Mormo that Kallark will regret his action.

• "Yeah, you're pretty much the Voice in the Sky in fox form."

- To Carlos when he breaks the meta.

Xavius

• "I just saw your lips moving; clearly you were talking."

- When Rob is using Ian to say something out of character.

Bob

• "Get away from my pockets!"

- When Goggles is trying to "borrow" a treasure from Bob.

Dave

NPC Quotes

Dialogue

Bob: "Hey!"

Rebooc: "Koboold!"

Bob: "I don't play that game, kobold."

Rebooc: Kobooold!"

Bob: "Ko... I don't play that game!"

Rebooc: "Kobooold!"

Bob: "I refuse to play this game."

Rebooc: "Kobooold! Kobooold! Koboold!"

[Silence]

Justin: "What... what am I doing here?"

Player Quotes

Rob

• "But Coe wanted to bang Deadbones!"

- Explaining the encounter of receiving the Tambock Ticket from the character Nate's girlfriend.

Thea Mazing

• "You know, Roamin's real name is Dave."

- Explaining why Roamin's stories always are fan fiction about Deadbones.

• "Yes."

-Speaking in Abrakadab.

Nate Tack

• "I'm totally ready to go straight in a straight line."

- The team is discussing how to sneak past the guards.

• "We should check for hidden vases."

- When the team starts to doubt that the vase in front of them is the one they are looking for.

• [Looks at Neena] "It's not that hard. I got it."

- Mocking Neena for breaking the vase they were after.

• "Oh! I have this vase in my hands suddenly. Uuh...."

- The team forgets who is holding the vase.

Darius

• "Can I disguise myself as an invisible person?"

- Roamin trying to sneak past some guards.

• "Oh! You wanna start making assumptions with Rob, you do that. That's your funeral."

- When the rest of the team thinks it is evident that they are sneaking since it is a sneak campaign.

• "I'm the Mayor."

- When he was Disguise as the museum curator but one of the guard thinks he's the mayor.

• "There's no way I can fuck this up!"

- Right before Roamin rolls a 1.

Neena Brando

• "Did I have sex with a ghost?!"

- After one of Darius' absurd and confusing stories.

NPC Quotes

Mona

• "Hold on let me get my Pipe."

- Every time she make a conversation.

Romulus

• "Omally you swine, I'm going to destory you!."

- When Neena switch places with Romulus using the Vampire locket and Facing off Omally.

Dialogue

Player Quotes

Rob

• "Also, Roamin, he has no name."

— Rob, when telling Roamin about No Name

Kopie Ren

• [Coe's dog barks] "I'm gonna get that wolf right now!"

- The team talking about the mission to kill the wolf.

• "Banditing starts at conception."

- Explaining how babies can be bandits as soon as they are born.

• "As my grammy used to say: 'Always put your eggs in the same basket'."

- Quoting her grandmother.

• "Noted. I'm going to transform."

- After getting warned he might risk hitting his team if he transforms.

• "Knock Knock. Wrastlin has now commenced"

- Charging blindly into battle.

Noxel

• "It's a good brand."

- Giving a straw to Kopie.

• "Didn't get that last part."

- Hearing Romulus trying to call for help through his death gurgling.

• "Now the first thing about being a berserker some people are born into it, some people can learn it."

- When teaching No Name about berserker.

• "This isn't about 'we'. This is about me!"

- Making a decision that only helps him.

Jack Krystaal

• Are you gonna serk off?

- When Nox and Kopie are naked in front of each other.

• I'm the greatest fucking liar!?

- When rolling a twenty for how good of a liar he is.

Romulus

• "Can I tun into a fart?"

- Trying to escape from the frog's belly.

• "I feel the anus is easier to go for than the nose"

- DeadBones planing the escape from the cowfrog.

• "As my Granddaddy used to say..."

- When DeadBones give word of advice.

NPC Quotes

Burrito

• '"I'm a shiny porc shiny shiny porc."

- After Jack Crystal oil him up

No Name

• '"(Heavy Breathing)"

- No Name try to breath

• '"Carrizem is also an emotion. It's the emotion of great frustration and confusion."

- Karazzeem explaining one of the meanings of the word.

• '"I never said that."

- Romulus's Grandfather repeatedly denying he said a proverb

Dialogue

Karazzeem: "You will slay the man who has slayed your grandaddy?"

Romulus: "I will take his life!"

Karazzeem: "You will restore honour to Karazeem. I Karazzeem say this."

Romulus: "You Karazzeem.... my cara... No, wait! Who's Karizem again?"

Karazzeem: "I am Karazzeem, from Karazeem."

Romulus: "Okey. So I am restoring faith to Karazeem, the place, not to you, Karazzeem?"

Karazzeem: "Yes, not to me. No, I am indifferent. I'm just your friend."

- Romulus talking about avenging his grandfather.

Karazzeem: "The thing is going to happen at noon."

Romulus: "Why are we being so coy about this? There is nobody listening."

Karazzeem: "I am not being coy! Why you think I being coy?!"

Romulus: "I think you're being coy 'cause you keep saying 'The Thing' instead of saying the thing."

Karazzeem: "Why, we should... we should not, no! Karazzeem don't talk about 'The Thing'."

Romulus: "Not out in the open. I get it."

Karazzeem: "Well, I mean... You know what they call 'The Thing', right?"

Romulus: "They call 'The Thing' 'The Forbidden Thing'."

Karazzeem: "No, they call it 'Crzm'."

Romulus: "They call it 'Crzm'."

Karazzeem: "Crzm! That's why I will not talk about it! I will not say that word! I, Karazzeem, will not say this word!"

- Romulus trying to find out what "The Thing" is.

Player Quotes

Rob

• "All you have to do is roll. That's all you have to do." [Chuckles quietly]

- Telling Deadbones what he has to do.

Sergio Fabioso

• "I also have an apple for you"

- Sergio seducing Frank the Bear.

• "Sergio."

- His words for certain things.

Fantastico Fabioso

• "Rob's Gravity"

- Discussing if Prism died or not.

• "I'm gonna cast Divine Intervention."

- Breaking the ice when No-Eye Bromas and Morgan Marie argue over Prism.

No-Eye Bromas

• "I know you're not here anymore; but fuck you!"

- Being angry at the glamshark that Rob forgot to remove.

Morgana Marie

• '"This is one fantastic adventure we've run into so many weird thing this is the best day ever.'"

-Morgana declare in the middle point of the excavation and foreshadowing the up coming events

• "But my tities, they were magnificent!"

- Deadbones as he falls to his death.

• '"Hey Roamin, what does the scanner say it's power level is?'"

-Deadbones to Roamin after Roamin scans the health of the Benu War Machine

NPC Quotes

Raynel

• "Can I touch your nose?"

- Raynel having a nose fetish.

• "Alpha Wolf"

- What Raynel always called No-Eye Bromas .

Alfie

• "I was just a prop!"

- Alfie confused when being brought back to life.

Dialogue

"Ok, so what are you guys doing over here?"-Rob

"Mind Fisting"-Justin

"I didn't sign up for this..."-Rob

-Roamin, the Bearserker, and Justin's time alone.

Player Quotes

Rob

• "Multihanguel"

-Rob talking about Elven hand dominance

Rick Snot

• "Ahem!"

- Rick changing the outcome of rolls.

• "DELETED!!"

- When casting arcane beam point blank into a sun clerics face.

Marco

• "I mean, How do you explain the idea of loudness to him?"

- Referring to Polo's tendency to shout.

Polo

Cain

• "Young lady, will you climb into my mouth?"

- Cain trying to trick Ladyir into be eaten.

• "We don't have butts to punch. We're unbeatable!"

- Cain thinking he has won in the URealms game the crew plays.

• "I'll eat their arms anyways! They can't stop me... I AM THE HOGERNAUT!"

- Cain when told the enemies wouldn't let him eat their arms.

• "Longswords they do lot... th-the-they-they're damaging. "

- Cain in shock that the Sunclerics are dealing 10 damage each.

• "He's human, we can kill him!!!"

- Cain exclaims when The Elf Boss rolls a one.

Ladyir

NPC Quotes

"I was going to make dog yoghurt."

- Octivias trying to make McCoy something new.

"Sounds like a shitty version of DnD!"

- Maelstrom when he is asked to play URealms with some of the crew.

"Porcs don't believe in adoption."

- McCoy when asked if Phineas would be his adopted porc-dad.

Dialogue

Player Quotes

Rob

• "Only Rick Snot has the power of 'Ahem'!"

- Rob really not wanting the 'Ahem' ability to return.

• "DeadBones, I need the name of a mutual friend that doesn't exist."

- When role playing as Gwyneth and Kallark.

• "It’s definitely a ray of yoghurt."

- When talking about the “yoghurt elemental’s” ability.

• "He fingers you to come out."

- When talking about Margaret O'Malley pushing Khn'n-Rell out of his cell.

• "I don’t think DeadBone's puppet has a naked body."

- When all the puppets are getting naked.

• "You just toss the air."

- Rob talking about Khn'n-Rell’s actions once he’s crazy.

• "Yeah, that’s it. You leave the jail."

- Rob realizing he used the wrong word.

• "I’m trying to figure out how I can say this without saying it."

- Rob wanting Gwenyth to be vague.

• "Guys, I don't like butt fish yogurt plotlines."

- When Roamin "gives a present" to two Porcs.

• That's the gayest thing we've ever done, Roamin."

- After Gwyneth (Rob) and Xavius (Roamin) had a romantic conversation.

• "Bleeding out of his... penis hole... I guess..."

- When Gwyneth and the others finds Chilly.

• "You win the first URealms Live Season, congratulations!"

- When T. Neconni is first thrown over the wall.

Rusty

• "I killed all the children then burned it down."

- When talking about his crime.

• "I'm real good with kids."

- When picking a cell mate.

• "I'm a rock hard man man."

- Rusty commenting on his Stoneskin ability.

• "Here’s how it’s going to go down: you sleep on the toilet."

- Rusty respond to his call mate because there’s only one bed.

• "On the floor shithouse."

- when talking to Shaneil.

• "He’s got 100 wooden teeth."

- Rusty talking about Khn'n-Rell to Shaneil.

• "I have no interest in becoming a skeleton slimy goopy man man."

- When Rusty went in the secret meeting talking to Khn'n-Rell.

Justin

• "It’s like a chilly willies fight club."

- After Elmar and Denada almost play Chilly Willies.

Roamin

• "Good good, jokes are always funny when you explain them."

- When talking about Rob explain the switching of Margot/Margret.

• "I'm pooping on Deadbones."

- When being forced to expel the Fish Yogurt from his body.

Margaret O'Malley

• "I don’t know!"

- When talking to Xavius when asked why he was in the Silver Mine Mountains.

• "Do you have theme nights for dinner?"

- When talking about dinner in The Silvermine Mountains to Xavius.

• "Why did I hire you to kill the orphanage, you can’t even walk straight."

- Margaret talking about Rusty when he slipped on fish yogurt.

Khn'n-Rell

• “I walked into this elven village, and it wasn't on fire, so I had to fix that”

- When asked about his crime.

• “It was artistic differences. They saw themselves not on fire. I saw them on fire.”

- Elaborating about his crime.

• "When you mine, it's kind of like you're stabbing the rock."

- Making Rufio dislike mining silver.

• "This is not your deaths, this is a rebirth, you are broken and I am fixing you, what are we doing here, we are bringing a dead- dying race back from extinction, with the help from…"

- Khn'n-Rell’s speech at the summoning.

Trusty Neconni

• "Do you have any free samples?"

- When talking about the silver from the mine.

• "Oh my gooooooooooooood!"

- After Khn'n-Rell snaps the Shaneil's neck.

NPC Quotes

Chilly Wizzy

• “He kind of looks like Xavius.”

- When Margaret is in Xavius' guard uniform.

• “You down for a game of... Chilly Willies?”

- When talking to DeNada

Denada

• “One ice man coming right up!”

- when summoning an ice elemental.

Gwyneth

• "Are the prisoners having babies?!"

- Gwyneth learning that there are children in the Silvermine Mountain.

• "It’s just too strong, Kallark."

- when talking to Kallark about his smell.

• "Yeah, I've spent plenty of evenings trying to forget that part of you."

- when talking about Kallark's dwarf part of his dwelf.

• "And check on Xavius. Knowing him, he has either gotten himself killed or locked in a jail cell."

- Talking to DeNada.

• "Just take the kids. And if somethings happens to them, it’s your fault. And it won’t be the first time you've ruined a kid for me."

- Gwyneth letting Kallark take the kids out of the prison.

Xavius

• "That’s the silver! Isn't it obvious?"

- When talking about the “shining ore in the Silvermine Mountains".

Kallark

• "Here’s your form!"

- Kallark sticking up middle finger trying to get the kobold kids with him.

• "Hey guys, Carlos is wondering “Where the bitches at?”, I'm just asking."

- Randomly interrupting Xavius and Gwenyth.

• "I can tell you’re a cool guy, ice elemental joke, haha, very funny."

- When Kallark is talking to DeNada.

• "I really don’t want them to die to the debt."

- When talking to Carlos.

• "Gwen, look! 3 Hands!"

- Trying to get Gwen's attention.

Carlos

• "Kids are delicious!"

- Carlos Talking to Kallark.

• "I break a lot of walls. Left walls, right walls, third walls, fifth walls, but not fourth ones."

- Carlos Talking to Kallark.

• "How about we just steal the kids?"

- Carlos Talking to Kallark.

• "No, we’re not going to hurt Xavuis, because that’s what you want!"

- Trying to convince Kallark to follow his plan.

Rufio

• "I'm calm when I'm not awake."

- When talking to Khn'n-Rell.

• "ONLY ONE!"

- Rufio talking about girlfriends in the secret meeting

The Porcs

• "But we were about to get dessert!"

- Deadbones as a porc when Roamin would poop fish yoghurt in his hand.

• "The fish yoghurt has fish in it, and fish have ears!!"

- Rob as a porc in the group convo at chow time.

• "Can I have two prizes?"

- Deadbones as a porc talking through the bars to Margaret.

• "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait… we're in jail?"

- Justin as a porc in the group conversation at chow time.

• "I tried to end this but but you wouldn't get off the fucking screen."

- Rob as talking as one of the porcs but being meta at the same time.

• "Can I lick your butt?"

-Deadbones as talking as one of the porc prisoners wanting to eat fish yoghurt from Margaret O'Malley’s butt.

• "Can I have more fish yoghurt from your butt?"

-Deadbones as a porc prisoner wanting more fish yoghurt.

Guard

• "Chow time!"

-A guard telling the prisoners it’s time to eat.

Dialogue

Porc: "Is this a trick question?"

Khn'n-Rell: "It depends, will you give a trick answer?"

- Khn'n-Rell in the secret meeting.

Shaneil: "You’re so generous Rusty Rusty!"

Rusty: "The name’s Rusty Rusty."

-Shaneil's confusion with Rusty's dvergr dvergrs language.

Porc: "Heya, Steve."

Steve: "Yes, NameIdon’tremember?"

Porc: "You haven’t given him a name yet."

Steve: "Yes, Bill?"

- Steve talking another porc.

Player Quotes

DeadBones

• "You find a hundred gold up the donkeys ass."

- After Jameson searches the donkeys ass for things.

Chip Chop

• "Chip Chop!

- Many different instances.

• "CHIP CHIP CHIP!"

- After he falls into the carpet and wishes to help defeat the giant skeleton.

Patrick Cake

• "WHO'S DANCING NOW?!"

- Patrick after he keeps pummeling Duke Daring with Fire and Ice magic.

Jameson Blant

• "I think we all learned a lesson today; rocks are dangerous."

- After a failed attempt to destroy a fist-sized rock with Aurora Borealis.

• "Nothing in here, guys."

- After searching for things inside the donkeys neck.

• "He's not gonna bleed out, but he might drown."

- When they're questioning if Roamin's bubble might fill up with blood.

Slap

• "Excellent use of the cannibal carpet."

- After Rob has explained that he's trying to make Duke fall onto the carpet.

• "[STDs] I collect them. All of them."

- After Jimmy Blant said he was worried about getting them.

NPC Quotes

Dialogue

Player Quotes

NPC Quotes

Dialogue