Roamin's Band of Thieves/Quotes

This is a selection of quotes from the Roamin's Band of Thieves campaign.

Player Quotes

Rob

• "Guys, I've tried so hard to affect these guys with rabies, it just ain't happening."

- Rob, talking to the Twitch chat.

• "Damn it, I was gonna double-infect him."

- After rolling a 2 when trying to infect Bumbley with rabies a second time.

• "I know there is a 5 percent chance that this actually happens... Fuck me!"

- Deadbones rolls a 20 and gets to charm the Gemlord.

Yumi

• "Running into a place to wait and die just seems like it kinda sucks."

- On the idea of hiding in a small alcove when chased by Elfs.

Squinks

• "This is not what I had in mind."

- when he accidentally turns into a Clockodile instead of an Elf.

Gracias

• "If we throw water on an Elf it becomes a Kobold?"

- When the party is strangely curious about what happens when they throw water on things.

Bumbley

• "Can I have my sword? You gave me rabies."

- To Squinks after Squinks makes a Kobold bite him.

• "Man, you know what? Not as bad as you'd think in a butthole."

- After hiding under the Monkeyfish King's buttocks.

NPC Quotes

Nisovin

• "It's a dwarf, but the beard goes on his butt."

- Explaining what a beaver is.

Dialogue

Yumi: "Okay, here's what we're gonna do: He's Dwarf Number Three."

Nisovin: "Why are you calling him Dwarf Number Three?"

Gracias: "Don't ask about the first two."

- When Bumbley is so excited to be the "first" dwarf on the team that he lets the others name him.

Kobold leader: "I hate dwarves, but you guys seem to be nice. Hmm... Okay, I guess if he's not really a dwarf - cause, I mean, why would a dwarf be hanging out with gnomes? What's your name, non-dwarf?"

Bumbley: "Dwarf Number Three."

Rob: "Combat has started."

- When trying to negotiate safe passage through the Kobolds' cave.

Gracias: "So how the heck do you guys burn down buckets of water?"

Squinks: "Well... The buckets are made out of wood, and wood burns."

Gracias: "But the water is made out of water."

Squinks: "Yeah, but the wood is made out of wood."

Yumi: "Are you like a scientist or something?"

- After the party lose their buckets fighting burning Kobolds.