Jakelad

2016-02-16T00:43:02Z

99.228.23.63: /* Trivia */ Removing speculation

{{Charbox
|image= File:JakeLad RadioactiveK.png
|name= Jakelad
|race= [[Porc]]
|sub race= [[Porc#Black_Boar|Black Boar]]
|class= [[Bard]]
|stamina= 43
|gender= Male
|actor= [[Rob]]
|first= The Jewel of the Dingo Isles
|affiliation= [[Cult of Bones#|The Cult of Bones]]
''formerly:'' [[Crew of the Bocoe|Crew Member of the ''Bocoe'']]
|ability= 
* [[Bard#Lullaby|Lullaby]]
* [[Bard#Charm|Charm]]
|equipment= 
* Winter Coat of Protection
* Cutlass
* Flintlock

|relative=
|alias=
|status= Deceased
}}
{| style="background-color:transparent;"
|style=width:50%|
|style=width:50%|
|-
|'''"FUCK THE KOBOLDS!"
|-
|colspan="2"|<div style="text-align:center">— Jakelad</div>
|
|}
'''Jakelad''' is a [[Porc | Gravehoof Porc]] [[Bard]] who is part of [[Merci | Captain Merci's]] crew during [[The Jewel of the Dingo Isles]] campaign. He is the lookout of the [[Bocoe]] and sings whenever there is danger. He also appears in [[The Sunswords]] campaign as a prisoner that is held for demon worship. He escapes into the woods, thus leading into his position on the [[Bocoe]]. Jake is a member of the [[Cult of Bones]]

__TOC__
==Characteristics==
===Appearance===
Jakelad is a male Porc with a broad chest, black beady eyes, and yellow tusks. Jakelad wears sky blue, button up shorts, brown boots stylized for his hooves, a midnight blue cloak with white lining, a blue tricorn hat, a silver skull earing in his right ear, and [[Dvergr Rope]] wrapped around his chest.

After his brief time among the Crew of the Bocoe, [[Kinney Boots]] left Jakelad dead with a mangled face due to being repeatedly smashed in the face with a mace.

===Personality===
He believes in the un-dead gods of the sea as a member of [[the Cult of Bones]], and hates [[Kobolds]] and [[Harpies]]. He loves singing, and shows great racism towards Kobolds in many of his songs. This pleases [[Merci|Captain Merci]] very much, as such he says that he can't have Jakelad doing anything but singing all the time.

===Relationships===
Jakelad is semi-friends with [[Kallark]], since Kallark himself helped Jakelad create the "Fuck The Kobolds" song.

===Notable Attributes===

==Powers & Abilities==
===Lullaby===
Jakelad creates an impromptu song to sing to the table that relates to the events currently unfolding. If his song should impress the Game Master, he may put all enemies who hear it to sleep.

===Charm===
Jakelad may attempt to charm a target. If successful he controls their actions on their turn until they break free.

==Songs==
===Fuck the Kobolds===
Timestamp: https://youtu.be/eYXzQ3Sb_R0?t=16m35s

Lyrics:
 There once was a captain who was a porc
 And he was the greatest porc
 The captain sailed the seven seas of porc
 He's the captain porc
 
 Fuck the kobolds, let the porcs
 Live forever, let's drown the kobolds
 Fuck the captain, fuck - I mean fuck the kobolds
 Long live the captain
 
 Jakelad the bard!

''Note: [[Merci|Captain Merci]] liked this song so much he said that Jakelad would get extra wages for it.''

===Coast is Clear Song===
Timestamp: https://youtu.be/eYXzQ3Sb_R0?t=18m36s

Lyrics:
 Fuck the kobolds, the coast is clear
 I hope the kobolds die first
 Fuck the kobolds, I don't see land
 
 I hope... *

''*Note: [[Merci|Captain Merci]] cuts Jakelad off here with: "Make sure those cannons are spick and span." Jakelad really likes those lyrics and want to add them to his song. Captain Merci says they are perfect and to add them. One can assume from this that this is how the song would continue or end, but there is no confirmation for this. Also note that likely the original song ended with 'the kobolds die first', as that seems to be the established pattern in the song."

===Harpies are Coming===
Timestamp: https://youtu.be/eYXzQ3Sb_R0?t=24m5s

Lyrics:
 I just saw a swarm of harpies
 Coming to attack the ship
 We should get below deck
 Or else we'll probably die

===Ballad of the Ghost Monsters===
Timestamp: https://youtu.be/e5do0WkWeKo?t=25m5s

Lyrics:
 Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em in the eye
 Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em till they die
 Fuck the kobolds, I hate all of them
 Let's turn them into fish yogurt

''Note: [[Merci|Captain Merci]] likes this song so much he says that Jakelad's share is going up.''

===Crew Motivation Song===
Timestamp: https://youtu.be/e5do0WkWeKo?t=36m1s

Lyrics:
 Fuck the kobolds, fuck them dry
 Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em in the eye
 Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em till they die
 I hope that we live so I can keep singing

''Note: this song was the result of [[Merci|Captain Merci's]] order to go below deck and sing a song to motivate the crew, ie [[Kinney Boots]] and [[Jo Krysstal|Ol' Jo Krysstal]]. Obviously the kobolds did not appreciate the song.''

==Belongings==
===Treasures===

===Items===
* [[Items#Cutlass | Cutlass]], lost at sea
* [[Items#Flintlock_Pistol | Flintlock Pistol]], lost at sea
* [[Items#Studded Armor | Studded Armor]], Taken and wore by [[Kinney Boots]]

===Accessories===
* [[Accessories#Dvergr_Rope | Dvergr Rope]], Taken by[[Kinney Boots]]
* [[Accessories#Spellblade_Pasta_Bread | Spellblade Pasta Bread]], lost at sea

==History==
===Background===
===[[The Sunswords]]===
Jakelad appears as a prisoner of the elves who was arrested for evil cultist dealings and is being transferred to the [[Silver Mine Mountains]] prison. Presumably, he spends most of his time during the journey singing his newly perfected song, "Fuck the Kobolds", to his fellow inmates and two children who all appear to be Kobolds. However, with the aid of his Porc allies and a charmed Kallark, Jakelad is able to escape the prison carriage and flee to safety.

===[[The Jewel of the Dingo Isles]]===
Jakelad serves as a crew member and lookout on the [[Bocoe]] under the command of [[Merci | Captain Merci]]. Much to the dismay of his Kobold crew mates, Jake is ordered to sing his directly offensive songs at all times.

Jakelad's bard tricks proved to be quite effective when the Bocoe was assaulted by [[Harpy | Harpies]] as Jake was able to hold his own for quite some time.

At the appearance of the [[Behemoth]], Jakelad took his opportunity to forsake the crew and reveal his true allegiance to the [[Cult of Bones]].
===Fate===
Jakelad's skull was crushed by [[Kinney Boots|Kinney Boots']] mace [[Treasures#Lieutenant Surge|Lieutenant Surge]], killing him, after he revealed his affiliation with [[Cult of Bones#|The Cult of Bones]] and betrayed the crew, attempting to kill them. Kinney Boots brutally murdered Jakelad ultimately because of his racist songs, Jakelad's betrayal of the crew merely acted as a catalyst to his death.

==Trivia==
*During the stream [[Deadbones]] had joked that Jakelad had a twitter account for his charm ability. A fan later created the account [https://twitter.com/Jake_TheLad @Jake_Thelad].
*He was a Cultist of Bones in disguise, and went anti-party when the [[Behemoth]] attacked.
*When Captain Merci cuts him off during his Coast is Clear song, it is revealed that the Copyright Law exists.
{{Pirates}}
{{TSS}}
{{Porc}}
{{Bard}}
[[Category: Characters]]
[[Category: Deceased]]
[[Category: NPC]]

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Jakelad