Unforgotten Realms Wiki - User contributions [en]

Jakelad

2015-10-08T10:12:36Z

68.150.32.112: /* Belongings */

{{Charbox
|image= File:JakeLad RadioactiveK.png
|name= Jakelad
|race= [[Porc]]
|sub race= [[Porc#Gravehoof|Gravehoof]]
|class= [[Bard]]
|stamina= 43
|gender= Male
|actor= [[Rob]]
|first= The Jewel of the Dingo Isles
|affiliation= [[Cult of Bones#|The Cult of Bones]]
''formerly:'' [[Crew of the Bocoe|Crew Member of the ''Bocoe'']]
|ability= 
* [[Bard#Lullaby|Lullaby]]
* [[Bard#Charm|Charm]]
|equipment= 
* Winter Coat of Protection
* Cutlass
* Flintlock

|relative=
|alias=
|status= Deceased
}}
{| style="background-color:transparent;"
|style=width:50%|
|style=width:50%|
|-
|'''"FUCK THE KOBOLDS!"
|-
|colspan="2"|<div style="text-align:center">— Jakelad</div>
|
|}
'''Jakelad''' is a [[Porc | Gravehoof Porc]] [[Bard]] who is part of [[Merci | Captain Merci's]] crew during [[The Jewel of the Dingo Isles]] campaign. He is the lookout of the [[Bocoe]] and sings whenever there is danger. He also appears in [[The Sunswords]] campaign as a prisoner that is held for demon worship. He escapes into the woods, thus leading into his position on the [[Bocoe]]. Jake is a member of the [[Cult of Bones]]

__TOC__
==Characteristics==
===Appearance===
Jakelad is a male Porc with a broad chest, black beady eyes, and yellow tusks. Jakelad wears sky blue, button up shorts, brown boots stylized for his hooves, a midnight blue cloak with white lining, a blue tricorn hat, a silver skull earing in his right ear, and a Dvergr Rob wrapped around his chest.

After his brief time among the Crew of the Bocoe, [[Kinney Boots]] left Jakelad dead with a mangled face due to being repeatedly smashed in the face with a mace.
===Personality===
He believes in the un-dead gods of the sea as a member of [[the Cult of Bones]], and hates [[Kobolds]] and [[Harpies]]. He loves singing, and shows great racism towards Kobolds in many of his songs. This pleases [[Merci|Captain Merci]] very much, as such he says that he can't have Jakelad doing anything but singing all the time.

===Relationships===
Jakelad is semi-friends with [[Kallark]], since Kallark himself helped Jakelad create the "Fuck The Kobolds" song.

===Notable Attributes===

==Powers & Abilities==
===Lullaby===
Jakelad creates an impromptu song to sing to the table that relates to the events currently unfolding. If his song should impress the Game Master, he may put all enemies who hear it to sleep.

===Charm===
Jakelad may attempt to charm a target. If successful he controls their actions on their turn until they break free.

==Songs==
===Fuck the Kobolds===
Timestamp: https://youtu.be/eYXzQ3Sb_R0?t=16m35s

Lyrics:
 There once was a captain who was a porc
 And he was the greatest porc
 The captain sailed the seven seas of porc
 He's the captain porc
 
 Fuck the kobolds, let the porcs
 Live forever, let's drown the kobolds
 Fuck the captain, fuck - I mean fuck the kobolds
 Long live the captain
 
 Jakelad the bard!

''Note: [[Merci|Captain Merci]] liked this song so much he said that Jakelad would get extra wages for it.''

===Coast is Clear Song===
Timestamp: https://youtu.be/eYXzQ3Sb_R0?t=18m36s

Lyrics:
 Fuck the kobolds, the coast is clear
 I hope the kobolds die first
 Fuck the kobolds, I don't see land
 
 I hope... *

''*Note: [[Merci|Captain Merci]] cuts Jakelad off here with: "Make sure those cannons are spick and span." Jakelad really likes those lyrics and want to add them to his song. Captain Merci says they are perfect and to add them. One can assume from this that this is how the song would continue or end, but there is no confirmation for this. Also note that likely the original song ended with 'the kobolds die first', as that seems to be the established pattern in the song."

===Harpies are Coming===
Timestamp: https://youtu.be/eYXzQ3Sb_R0?t=24m5s

Lyrics:
 I just saw a swarm of harpies
 Coming to attack the ship
 We should get below deck
 Or else we'll probably die

===Ballad of the Ghost Monsters===
Timestamp: https://youtu.be/e5do0WkWeKo?t=25m5s

Lyrics:
 Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em in the eye
 Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em till they die
 Fuck the kobolds, I hate all of them
 Let's turn them into fish yogurt

''Note: [[Merci|Captain Merci]] likes this song so much he says that Jakelad's share is going up.''

===Crew Motivation Song===
Timestamp: https://youtu.be/e5do0WkWeKo?t=36m1s

Lyrics:
 Fuck the kobolds, fuck them dry
 Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em in the eye
 Fuck the kobolds, fuck 'em till they die
 I hope that we live so I can keep singing

''Note: this song was the result of [[Merci|Captain Merci's]] order to go below deck and sing a song to motivate the crew, ie [[Kinney Boots]] and [[Jo Krysstal|Ol' Jo Krysstal]]. Obviously the kobolds did not appreciate the song.''

==Belongings==
===Treasures===

===Items===
* [[Items#Cutlass | Cutlass]], lost at sea
* [[Items#Flintlock_Pistol | Flintlock Pistol]], lost at sea
* [[Items#Studded Armor | Studded Armor]], Taken and wore by [[Kinney Boots]]

===Accessories===
* [[Accessories#Dvergr_Rope | Dvergr Rope]], Taken by[[Kinney Boots]]
* [[Accessories#Spellblade_Pasta_Bread | Spellblade Pasta Bread]], lost at sea

==History==
===Background===
===[[The Sunswords]]===
Jakelad appears as a prisoner of the elves who was arrested for evil cultist dealings and is being transferred to the [[Silver Mine Mountains]] prison. Presumably, he spends most of his time during the journey singing his newly perfected song, "Fuck the Kobolds", to his fellow inmates and two children who all appear to be Kobolds. However, with the aid of his Porc allies and a charmed Kallark, Jakelad is able to escape the prison carriage and flee to safety.

===[[The Jewel of the Dingo Isles]]===
Jakelad serves as a crew member and lookout on the [[Bocoe]] under the command of [[Merci | Captain Merci]]. Much to the dismay of his Kobold crew mates, Jake is ordered to sing his directly offensive songs at all times.

Jakelad's bard tricks proved to be quite effective when the Bocoe was assaulted by [[Harpy | Harpies]] as Jake was able to hold his own for quite some time.

At the appearance of the [[Behemoth]], Jakelad took his opportunity to forsake the crew and reveal his true allegiance to [[the Cult of Bones]].
===Fate===
Jakelad's skull was crushed by [[Kinney Boots|Kinney Boots']] mace [[Treasures#Lieutenant Surge|Lieutenant Surge]], killing him, after he revealed his affiliation with [[List of Organizations#The Cult of Bones|The Cult of Bones]] and betrayed the crew, attempting to kill them. Kinney Boots brutally murdered Jakelad ultimately because of his racist songs, Jakelad's betrayal of the crew merely acted as a catalyst to his death.

==Trivia==
*During the stream [[Deadbones]] had joked that Jakelad had a twitter account for his charm ability. A fan later created the account [https://twitter.com/Jake_TheLad @Jake_Thelad].
*He was a Cultist of Bones in disguise, and went anti-party when the [[Behemoth]] attacked.
*When Captain Merci cuts him off during his Coast is Clear song, it is revealed that the Copyright Law exists.
*It is speculated that Jakelad may still be alive as Gwyneth stated that Cult of Bones members could not be killed by normal means during the Silvermine Mountains campaign.
{{Pirates}}
{{TSS}}
{{Porc}}
{{Bard}}
[[Category: Characters]]
[[Category: Deceased]]
[[Category: NPC]]

Kinney Boots

2015-10-08T10:10:58Z

68.150.32.112: /* Belongings */

{{Charbox
|image= File:Kinney RadioactiveK.png
|name= Kinney Boots
|race= [[Kobold]]
|sub race= [[Kobold#Seaswagger|Seaswagger]]
|class= [[Swashbuckler]]
|stamina= 29
|gender= Female
|actor= [[Deadbones]]
|first= The Jewel of the Dingo Isles
|affiliation= [[Crew of the Bocoe|Crewmember of the ''Bocoe'']]
|ability= 
* [[Swashbuckler#Lunge|Lunge]]
* [[Swashbuckler#Swish Swash|Swish Swash]]
* [[Swashbuckler#Buckle Buddy|Buckle Buddy]]
|equipment= 
* [[Flintlock Pistol]] (x2)
* [[Lieutenant Surge]]
* [[Winter Coat of Protection]]
* [[Freeboot Coat]] (x2)
* [[Items#Consumables#Rejuvination Potion|Rejuvination Potion]]
|relative= 
*Cousin: [[Jo Krysstal]]
|alias= Skinny
|status= Alive
|gold=0
}}
{| style="background-color:transparent;"
|style=width:50%|
|style=width:50%|
|-
|'''"Ehhh Buckle Buddies!"
|-
|colspan="2"|<div style="text-align:center">— Kinney Boots</div>
|
|}

'''Kinney Boots''' is a [[Kobold#Seaswagger|Seaswagger Kobold]] [[Swashbuckler]], played by [[Deadbones]]. She is part of [[Merci | Captain Merci's]] crew on the [[Bocoe]] during [[The Jewel of the Dingo Isles]] campaign, in charge of the starboard side cannons of the Bocoe.

__TOC__
==Characteristics==
===Appearance===
Kinney Boots is a female Kobold with grey rock-like fur, a voluptuous figure and red eyes. She wears a light purple corset that reveals her midriff, black shorts, black wrapping around her calves up to her toes, and a long dark purple coat that was slightly damaged along the bottom of the coat. She accessorized with a small golden [[Paladin]] Ankh earring in her right ear and a large brown belt with two large pouches and a large golden belt buckle.

===Personality===
She likes to kill people, giving her a vibe of bloodlust. She won't hesitate when the option to kill comes up. Despite this grim characteristic, Kinney is generally charming, always with a smile on her face and appears to be permanently ecstatic, especially when she kills.
She has a sense of humour and often speaks ironically, allowing herself to make snide remarks about the extensive length of Captain Merci's sleep.
While very cautious about her life (Knowing that she can't swim, she buckles herself to Merci, who is an excellent swimmer), she forgets all reason and care when blinded by rage and bloodlust, causing her to forget everything and focus on destroying her enemies. In this state, she appears more than willing to hurt herself to deal extra damage to the opponent.
Speaks in some URealms version of French.

==Relationships==

===Captain Merci===
Kinney shows a lot of affection towards her Captain during the voyage to recover the Jewel of the Dingo Isles and spends a large portion of combat during the campaign buckled to Merci (happily remarking: 'Buckle Buddies!'). She also appears very touched when Merci calls her 'Skinny Boots'. She remarks that she is indeed very slim and thanks the Captain for noticing. She is, however, often disgusted by Merci's Porc habits, such as vomiting food and lactating at will.
Merci seems to value Kinney's advice and takes it often, perhaps trusting it more than that of his first mate. Among Kinney's suggestions are to put cannonballs into the cannons, before firing them with fish yogurt, as well as suggesting they 'just go and [they] kill [the harpies]'.

===Ol' Jo Krysstal===
Kinney has a bond with her cousin and generally sticks around him outside of combat, especially as the two are both assigned to managing the cannons. However, Kinney seems more than happy to delegate less enjoyable tasks, such as helping Octivias lactate or testing the fish soup, to Jo without consulting him.
She also blames Jo for bringing her onto a Porc ship, when Jakelad the Bard sings his first variation of 'Fuck the Kobolds'.

===McCoy===
Kinney has little respect for the first mate, calling him 'Monsieur Piggy' under her breath on a few occasions. She appears disgusted by his Porc habits, such as vomiting fish yogurt eaten earlier.

===Octivias===
Kinney has little to no attachment to the ship's cook and has only contempt for his food. When Octivias was drowning overboard the ship, Kinney complained loudly against Merci diving in to save him (thus putting her at risk of being pulled into the sea, buckled to her Captain). Later on, when given the chance of saving Octivias, who is about to fly overboard, Kinney chooses instead to spit at the corpse of Jakelad to sate her bloodlust.

===Jakelad===
Kinney soon develops a fierce hatred for the ship's bard, very much due to his new song 'Fuck the Kobolds'. She swears to Jo Krysstal, that Jakelad will be the first to die. As such, she appears euphoric when Jakelad turns mutinous, thus giving her a chance to take revenge. She sings her own variation of 'Fuck the Kobolds' as she lands the first attack on the Bard: 'Fuck the Porc Bard; Slap him in the face.'
Her hatred and bloodlust are so strong, that she chases Jakelad onto the deck, despite the danger the Behemoth poses, and makes sure he dies, singing: 'Killing the Porc Bard; killing the Porc Bard' as she smashes his skull.

==Notable Attributes==
Kinnie is very skilled in combat.
Despite being a sea-faring pirate, Kinney has no swimming ability whatsoever.

==Powers & Abilities==
===Passives===
*[[Kobold#Kobold|Fortunately Unfortunate]]
*[[Kobold#Seaswagger|Luck of the Sea]]
*[[Kobold#Immunity to Rabies|Immunity to Rabies]]

===Swashbuckler Abilities===
*[[Lunge]]
*[[Swish Swash]]
*[[Buckle Buddy]]

==Belongings==
===Treasures===
* [[Treasures#Lieutenant_Surge | Lieutenant Surge]]

===Items===
* [[Items#Cutlass | Cutlass]]
* [[Items#Flintlock_Pistol | Flintlock Pistol (x2)]]
* [[Items#Freeboot_Coat | Freeboot Coat (x2)]]
* [[Items#Rejuvenation_Potion | Rejuvenation Potion]]
* [[Items#Studded Armor | Studded Armor]]: Took it from [[Jakelad]]

===Accessories===
* [[Accessories#Coral_Comb | Coral Comb]]
* [[Accessories#Glass_Vial | Glass Vial (Contains Posion)]]
* [[Accessories#Ankh_of_the_Paladin_Order | Ankh of the Paladin Order (Earing)]]
* [[Accessories#Dvergr_Rope | Dvergr Rope]]: Took it from [[Jakelad]]

==History==
===Background===
Kinney Boots, at an undetermined point in time, either obtained the magical mace [[Lieutenant Surge]] from the Elven leader of a band of [[Porc|porcs]], [[Ca-Rell]], or lost it in the water, allowing Ca-Rell to find it later on.

Kinney Boots had joined the crew of the ''[[Bocoe]]'' with her cousin, [[Jo Krysstal]], for the job [[Nisovin]] gave them. She is known to slack off and sleep around a lot, possibly because she always carries a bottle of liquor on her.

===[[The Jewel of the Dingo Isles]]===
Kinney proves her worth when the [[Bocoe]] is attacked by a flock of [[Harpies]], and she uses Lieutenant Surge against them. She also finds a new bottle of liquor, [[Winechestors Finest]], that has no negative side effects. This increases her dependence on alcohol, probably to try to get over the traumatic event of almost drowning. Kinney's bloodlust then begins to show, and she does not hesitate in killing [[Jakelad]] when he reveals himself as a member of the Bone Cult when [[Colin the Behemoth|the Behemoth]] arises. She hunts him down and crushes his skull with her mace, satisfying her harbored hatred for him. While relishing the kill, she lets [[Octivias]] go flying off the edge to drown to death, but drops her bottle of Winchestors Finest overboard when spitting on Jakelad's corpse. This creates some tension between her and the others, but eventually Kinney reveals her soft side when Pot Puppies are in danger of being engulfed in flames. She strangely decides to take only the better two of the three dogs, leaving the last one with a limp behind with no regrets. Later on Jo Krysstal, while grappling onto Kinney, rips off her freeboot coat and finds that Kinney never actually lost her bottle of Winchestors Finest, but had it in her coat all along. She had actually lost a different bottle of wine.

After escaping the grill of death, and becoming lifelong friends with her "Buckle Puppy", Kinney leaves after [[McCoy]] retrieves the gem with the crew and sets off to return it to [[Nisovin]].

===Fate===
After the events of the campaign, the Bocoe decides to hire new crew mates. However, [[Merci#|Captain Merci]] hired the [[Goblin#|Goblins]], [[Marco]] and [[Polo]], and the [[Elf#|Elves]], [[Ladyir#|Young Ladyir]] and [[Rick Snot]]. As she despises Goblins and Elves, she left the group. It is unknown where she is now.

==Trivia==
* Kinney Boots had never learned to swim and has an extreme fear of the water. She shares this characteristic with her crewmate, [[Octivias]].
* Deadbones played Kinney with an accent that was a fusion of French and German.
* Kinney harbors a burning hatred for [[Jakelad]] due to his choice of songs that insult [[Kobold|kobolds]].
* She has a soft spot for Pot Puppies.
* She's an extreme sadist.
* In keeping with Deadbones' naming convention of Marvel Characters, Kinney Boots is a reference to [http://marvel.wikia.com/Laura_Kinney_(Earth-616) Laura Kinney], otherwise known as X-23. The surname 'Boots' comes from [http://shantae.wikia.com/wiki/Risky_Boots Risky Boots] from the Shantae series of games.
**Kinney shares her bloodlust with X-23, and her Pirating ways with Risky Boots. [https://twitter.com/DeadBones5/status/612128276354596864]
* Kinney Boots hates [[Goblin#|Goblins]] and [[Elf#|Elves]], and finds both races repulsive.
* Kinney is expected to play a key role in the Coe's Quest animations. It is speculated this is the real reason Kinney left the Bocoe in the New Crew campaign.

{{Pirates}}
{{TNC}}
{{Kobold}}
{{Swashbuckler}}
{{Deadbones}}
[[Category: Characters]]
[[Category: Swashbucklers]]